I learned the hard way to always seal pine with Wood Conditioner before staining - we have lots of Amish builders here but I hadn't heard of using fabric softener. Does it raise the grain? I love MinWax, the gel sealer/stain was so easy to use and always gave a good finish - but like you when I went to get some recently, they don't carry it anymore.
Pure Turpentine might lift the color a little. Brush it on a small area and wipe it off, you can see if the color comes up on your cloth. You could also try some strong bleach/water or add a little dishwashing detergent to water and try that, let it air dry in the sun. Not as strong as Turp but usually on hand and dishwasher detergent is used in different projects to "bleach" color. A few drops will almost instantly remove stains from a tea pot, thermos etc. Acetone removes about anything but I don't like to use it. Probably a good idea to sand a small area before you try any thing then let it dry thoroughly before deciding if it worked or not. MixWax makes a clear, oil-rubbed look finish that I like to use, am on my last bottle so will have to do some looking on-line. Good luck!
Jan
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